I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
FUCK WHALES
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