hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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