Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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