How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
