My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
