god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
