So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hippo gnu deer
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
