But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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