direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
