i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
