I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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