You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
