The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
