I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
