Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
