nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
