Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
