So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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