and i looked up. we had an audience...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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