Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
