why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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