Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
