At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
