i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
