brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
