I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
