i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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