Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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