The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
