No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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