in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
