why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just had sex on a roof
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
