His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
