if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
