I wish I only lived at night.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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