i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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