would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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