My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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