well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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