I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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