Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
