Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
