He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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