piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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