my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
then he tried to convert me to islam
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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