If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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