I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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