this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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