____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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