I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
