Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
