never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
